LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD. Your child needs to hear that it’s not his fault and that there is nothing wrong with him. Let him know that the bully’s aggressive behavior is the source of the problem. Assure your child that you will not go behind his back and do anything that does not feel comfortable to him. Bullying hurts children’s self-esteem and it’s a good idea to keep reminding them of their strengths and skills. Hug your child frequently and let him know how much you love him.
2. Can the school help?
Work with school personnel who should be able to offer help and advice. Keep records of incidents and record meetings with staff and other parties.
3. Should I approach the bully’s parents?
That could easily aggravate the situation. Some parents of bullies may not see anything wrong with bullying and equate it with teasing or looking after oneself.
4. Should I talk to the bully?
We do not encourage this idea as it may reinforce the bully’s impression that your child is weak and unable to stand up for himself.
5. What do I do if the bullying continues or escalates?
Contact a lawyer, the police or both.
6. If my child is in an abusive friendship with someone who is hurting him or her, what can I do?
You need to have a discussion with your child on respect, kindness and what a real friend is, and encourage him to break the ties. Watch your child carefully as you are having the conversation and ask if they are afraid to drop the friendship. Perhaps your child is being threatened.
7. Is there anything else I can do for my child?
A healthy diet, physical exercise and lots of loving and hugging can work wonders to reduce a child’s anxiety and keep them physically healthy.
Gangs And Violence
Studies indicate that 60% of boys who were bullies in elementary school had a criminal record by age 24. Reports further indicate a bully’s behaviour often advances to sexual abuse, date rape, domestic violence or elder abuse.
8. What is a gang?
A gang is a group of teens and young adults that hang out together and are involved in joint violent, illegal, or criminal activity.
8. How can I tell if my child is involved in a gang?
The most common ways are: tattoos, clothing, jewelry, new friends that your child doesn’t want you to meet, skipping school, drop in grades, questionable signs and symbols on books, clothes, bedroom walls and other personal belongings.
9. What should I do if I suspect my child is involved in a gang?
a.Talk to your child.
b. Watch for some of the signs to confirm your suspicion.
c. Try to listen to your child’s conversation with friends and acquaintances – old and new.
d. Take stock of your child’s room from time to time and look for signs and symbols.
e. You may want to talk to your child’s teacher about your suspicions.
f. Try to divert your child’s time and attention away and into other activities.
g. Seek private counselling, help from community agencies or talk to the police.
PARENTS: YOUR CHILDREN ARE AT GREAT RISK IF THEY BELONG TO A GANG. DON’T GET CAUGHT THINKING THIS IS JUST A PASSING PHASE AND THAT YOUR CHILD WILL OUTGROW IT. EARLIER GANG MEMBERS USE NEWER ONES TO TAKE THE BIGGEST RISKS. IF THE NEWER GANG MEMBERS ARE CAUGHT, THE OLDER ONES WILL OFTEN DENY ANY CONNECTION.
The following is an excerpt from an article in The Law Journal (UK) titled Bullying, School Violence and Youth Crime, written by Judge Marvin A. Zuker, Ontario (Canada) Court of Justice, specializing in Family Law.
Bullying is a pervasive problem. It starts at an early age—toddlers can exhibit aggressive behaviours akin to bullying, and research shows that by 30 months boys and girls start to exhibit bullying behaviours that differ according to gender. As bullying and violent behaviours are identified in very young children, more recognition needs to be placed on parenting practices towards children who are not yet in school. Either this, or providing schooling for children aged two or three. In this way, young children may be consistently taught “right” from “wrong.” Perhaps this may reduce the number of young people experiencing overwhelming challenges, with intervention more consistently sought.
For more information please use the following options: info@championsagainstbullying.com
Alexandra Penn: alex.penn@championsagainstbullying.com 416.275.1007, in Canada 310.993.8007
in the U.S.
Pina Mormile: pinadmormile@championsagainstbullying.com 647.444.5751, in Canada
Leigh Rachel Faith: leigh@championsagainstbullying.com 323.215.5533, in the US
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Nonsense Guide To Kids’ Bullying Solutions”
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